Everything I Never Learned About Money
(is a lot)
Dear reader,
If you’re new here, welcome! This is my second post, and I’m still learning my way around, but I’m really glad you’re here.
Among the many questions that keep me up at night, this is easily in the top five:
Why didn’t I learn about personal finance in school, along with other essential life skills?
I remember learning exactly one thing about money in school. It was in a home economics (there’s a phrase I should sit with a little longer sometime) class in my freshman year of high school, in which I was also taught how to cook an omelette, make banana bread, and replace a button on a shirt.
That one thing I learned about money? How to balance a checkbook.
A skill that most of us don’t need anymore. (If you’re under thirty and reading this, do you even know what a checkbook is?)
But I vividly remember putting that knowledge to use when, about six years later, as a college freshman, I got my first checking account and my first checkbook. I paid a little extra—of course I did! I’m terrible with money! —to have my name and address printed on the checks in an old-fashioned, serifed typeface, with a pale rose embossed to the side (because Rosie, get it)?
There wasn’t much room for writing in those little ledger boxes, but I inked in the cramped numbers whenever I paid, or got paid, for something. I felt so responsible about my finances back then, so in control, scribbling away at the back of my checkbook! And yet, I still knew bubkes about money. Had I learned how to file taxes? Or about, what is the word, investing? And—if I can get a little philosophic here—did I even understand what money is, its worth, that maybe it is real, and not an imponderable abstraction?
Marcy, a friend and reader, thoughtfully wrote in response to my previous post:
Stu [her partner] has said he heard that people with wealth talk to their kids about money to educate them.
I’ve heard this, too. Like there’s hermetic knowledge passed down and kept inside rich families, like, I guess, that Goya drawing Uncle Bertie won on a bet at the club. And, from the rich people I know who’ve been open about their wealth, it seems to track.
Speaking of her own upbringing, Marcy continued:
As someone who grew up knowing the lights/heat/phone could be shut off at any time we talked about money but not in a good way. More like, who is going to put the bill in their name until it gets shut off again.
This might resonate with some of you. It did with me: I also learned about money at home, and not in a good way. I’ll get into that in next Tuesday’s post; I’ll make a start, anyway, because there’s a lot to tell you.
Meanwhile, if you’ve got answers to any of these questions—
What did you learn about money in school?
How did you learn how to do your taxes?
Did anyone explain investing to you?
Are you from an affluent family, and willing to share what you did, or didn’t, learn from your parents (or aunts, or uncles, or grandparents)?
IS MONEY REAL?
—please chime in. I’d be grateful to hear from you.
I’ll be back at this on Friday—when I’ll keep talking about money but I’ll talk about other stuff, too.
Until then, take heart.
Thanks + love,
Rosie
I LOVE that you've started this Substack - people are so absolutely weird about talking about money, maybe especially in the freelance/arts world. To answer your questions:
What did you learn about money in school?
Absolutely jack. I took Home Ec in 7th grade (and am genuinely sad that most schools don't seem to offer it anymore), but it was heavy on the home and light on the ec. My college - I went to art school - offered a one-credit business course (a dereliction of duty, you ask me) and no finance courses.
How did you learn how to do your taxes?
hahahahah WHUT (for real though, I send an excel file and a stack of 1099s to a nice lady at HR Block every year, and that is how I do my taxes)
Did anyone explain investing to you?
MANY MEN HAVE TRIED (In all seriousness, no, though I have had several people patiently try to explain compound interest to me, which falls into the same hole in my brain where the concept of off-sides goes to die)
Are you from an affluent family, and willing to share what you did, or didn’t, learn from your parents (or aunts, or uncles, or grandparents)?
I mean, by global and historical standards, growing up middle-class means I was incredibly wealthy, but by 20th century American standards, no, not affluent. Money discussions were mainly my parents fighting about it, My father has the same financial tendencies I do - largesse when flush, panic when not. I make 100% of my income through freelancing/contract/adjunct work and my understanding of money is akin to a Neanderthal's understanding of trigonometry (also, I do not understand trigonometry).
IS MONEY REAL?
As real as anything else we've made up, I guess.
I have a PhD in broke: getting broke , staying broke and thinking about broke. As for money: there is never enough of it when you need it. Major regret about not having money is that I can't bail out my friends when they get jammed up. What I learned about money is that those who have it use it to control those of us who don't have it. At this point I should quote some Shakespeare..but I won't. I will stop here because You need to read other people who are less inept about filthy lucra.